And then I saw you smile
by Nanashi911
Summary: Zero can't sleep one night so he takes a walk, but he finds someone else couldn't sleep either. Zero/Hiead *Shounen-ai* so be warned.


I admit I do not know much about this series. But due to the rabid ravings of my friend, I felt I had to write a fic about her favorite coupling. What can I say? She corrupted me. Anyhow if any of these characters seem OOC, blame it on her because I am going on the juicy bits she told me about the series :p. This is a Hiead x Zero fic if you didn't already know. It's a boy x boy kinda thing although not graphic so don't worry.. and, well this is dedicated to her, enjoy!  
  
P.S. I do not own Candidate for Goddess, nor will I ever.  
  
/And then I saw you smile../  
by Nanashi.  
  
  
I couldn't sleep. I had tried turning my pillow over a few times. I tossed myself all over my bed, with covers/without covers.. I just could not get comfortable. As tired as my body may have been, due to training earlier, my mind was wide awake and racing with the possibilities tomorrow would bring. We were finally going to formally meet the pilots. That meant I could see Erts again, whom I haven't seen in months since his ascension. I could finally show him how much I have improved, even though something told me he might already know. Besides all that, I just wanted to see my friend again. I also wanted to apologize to that green haired pilot for getting trapped in his Goddess that one time. I still get the feeling he doesn't like me very much. Then there is that mysterious leader of the pilots. That girl. I could still reach back into my memory and clearly recall the time Hiead and I joined our EX's together with hers. I still don't understand completely what happened but in that moment it seemed as if our souls became synchronized. I never had the chance to see her face to face, but I felt her; and something told me that she could answer all the questions I had about myself.  
  
I turned my head, only to catch Clay's face inches away from mine. Then he started snoring and I almost burst out laughing. I didn't know he was capable of emitting such an odd sound. If I stayed in this room any longer I would end up waking everyone up. Clay would rant and Hiead might try to take a swing at me. I had to get out, besides maybe a short walk would make me drowsy. I slipped out of my bed quietly and began heading for the door, however passing by Hiead's bed I noticed he was not sleeping in it. It didn't seem odd, he was probably using the bathroom or something. So I shrugged it off and snuck into the hallway outside. The floor was frigidly cold at night and I rebuked myself for not having the sense to put on some slippers. On top of it all I wasn't exactly sure where I was going, but for some reason my feet were being pulled towards the observatory room. In the end I decided that taking a look at Zion couldn't hurt. Besides it wasn't far away. I finally approached the entrance only to stop short. Someone was already there and as I adjusted my vision to the bright glow of the room, I realized it was Hiead.  
  
I nearly turned ready to bolt off in the opposite direction but my body would not obey me. I stood there momentarily entranced by the way the light from Zion spilled onto his hair and made it shine, almost as if it was glowing. I hadn't noticed GOA was orbiting so close to the planet because the view was gorgeous. But there was something strange seeing Hiead standing before that planet. I could almost make out the expression on his face and he looked almost, peaceful or thoughtful. I wondered what someone as cold and heartless as him could possibly be thinking about. Then the strangest thing happened, I could have sworn the corners of his mouth rose into a small smile. I wasn't too sure, because of my distance but, it kinda looked like it and I thought for the first time that the person I saw standing there almost seemed human. Could it be that Hiead had the capability to smile? And if he could smile did that mean he was capable of being..friendly? My already crowded mind began to race again with this new and almost scary revelation. It never occurred to me that he had any other range of emotions beyond anger and jealousy. This made me dangerously curious. What could he have possibly thought about to make him smile.   
  
I shouldn't have stood there staring so much because his smile faded as quickly as it had appeared and in that split second his glowing red eyes were on me. Naturally I freaked out knowing that I had been discovered, plus the fact that he caught me oggling at him like an idiot, which was really nothing new.   
  
"Just how long have you been standing there.." he growled.   
  
I was speechless, scared, and embarrassed all at once. I had no idea how to reply and I wasn't sure if this was going to turn into a massive war between us..again. Well I wasn't going to let him intimidate me, so I did what came naturally, I decided to play the smart ass.   
  
"You are in no position to ask me anything, just what are YOU doing here?!" I prepared myself for his rebuttal.   
  
Instead he turned back to the window, "Nothing..I couldn't sleep."   
  
I nearly fell over in shock. I began to realize that I spent too much time around Clay because the first thought that came to my head was that a Victim had kidnapped the real Hiead, performed some personality surgery on him, and placed him neatly back on GOA; all in an effort to scare the living hell out of me.  
  
Of course I instantly became enraged, he was probably acting this way to spite me.   
  
"What kind of idiot do you take me for Hiead!?" I said in a defensive stance.   
  
He raised an amused eyebrow at me "The biggest most ignorant kind."  
  
Maybe it really was the real Hiead.   
  
"Are you acting weird in order to piss me off or something!?" I snarled.   
  
He dropped his head to the side and grinned his evil trademark 'I'm better than you' grin. "You idiot, why do you think everything has to revolve around you? I'm not in the mood to listen to your stupid whining and empty threats, so just leave if you have nothing better to do."   
  
Now he was really pissing me off, he made me look immature and egotistical at the same time, and even if it was true, it didn't have to come from him! That's the sort of thing Kizna is good for.   
  
"Drop it.." he said before any additional words could escape my mouth.  
  
I sighed, this was no time to get into an argument. Not only was it late at night, but the consequences of a fight breaking out might cost me from meeting the pilots tomorrow and he was not worth blowing that...so I actually gave up.  
  
Instead I decided to beat him at his own game. If he was going to be civil, I was going to be twice as civil. Let's see how much he likes that! He knows that anything he can do, I can do better! I approached him and took a spot to his left. Of course, there was enough distance between us just in case he decided to lunge at me or something, which would be more of a 'Hiead-type of thing to do' in this situation. However he didn't even flinch at the fact I was standing within his vicinity.   
  
"Ne..Hiead.." I began, but his eyes didn't leave the glass, "you do know..about tomorrow"   
  
He blinked.   
  
"Well I was thinking.." I gulped unsure of what his reaction might be to the end of my sentence, "we are finally going to meet her..you know, the head pilot."   
  
His body seemed to tighten.   
"Teela.." he whispered.   
  
"Teela? Do you know her?" I asked suddenly curious.   
  
"No.." he replied.   
  
Just the fact he was answering me without any physical blows was progress. I don't think I had ever had anything close to a conversation about anything with him before, unless we were fighting. Well, no matter how short his replies were, they were still replies and I found myself feeling somewhat more at ease around him, if only a momentary comfort.   
  
"Say..do you remember that one time, when you came to save me.."  
  
"I didn't do it for you."   
  
"Yeah yeah, you told me that already, but that's not the point. What I'm trying to get at is..well.."   
  
His pupils moved to the corner of his eyes and he almost seemed as if he was glaring at me even though his body didn't move an inch. My tone became more serious and I dared to venture within striking distance of him.   
  
"Hiead..the 3 of us..we have the same EX."   
I became more impatient and my words flew out urgently, "We did it, the two of us merged with her and we induced that attack Hiead! I don't understand it but..I feel like I know her, like she was trying to tell me something and if that's true for me then it must be for you.." and I was promptly cut off when he turned full body towards me.   
  
His gaze became sharper.   
"Don't compare me to you.." he said.   
  
I was annoyed by that comment and I guess it showed in my voice.  
  
"Don't start that again! You were there, you remember, you saw and felt what I felt regardless of what you think of me. You can't stand there and deny it.." and I noticed that his eyes were still angrily fixed on mine.   
  
"Get to the point." he replied with an eerie sternness.   
  
"You said so yourself..you and I are the same. You know things about me, about everything, that I don't. And don't say it's because I'm stupid or something.."   
  
"I don't have to say it."  
  
I growled impatiently at being interrupted. "The point is, I want to know! I want to know why there is a connection between us, why we are the same and how am I connected to Teela. And.."   
  
He didn't let me finish. He began to move close to me and I hoped that he would stop at any moment, but he didn't. I found myself reflexively backing up away from him until he had finally cornered me. His two arms rose up on each side of my head as if to cage me in. His face was so close to my own that I could hear him breath and his magenta eyes locked onto mine.   
  
"Hi..Hiead.." I stuttered unsure of what was to happen next.   
  
We played this staring game for what I know was a few seconds, but felt like hours until he finally spoke.   
  
"What makes you so sure I am going to tell you anything." his tone and expression did not waver in the slightest and it creeped me out.  
  
"Because you are human just like me.."  
  
"Are we?"   
  
"Well maybe you're not but, whatever the hell you are, I know you feel like I do."   
  
"You don't know anything about me.."  
  
"I know you can smile.."  
  
He backed away from me slightly.  
"What the hell are you talking about."  
  
"I saw you..earlier, you were smiling when you looked out into space." I dared to mumble.   
  
"Have you been letting Clay experiment on your tiny brain again!? You are talking nonsense!" he growled.   
  
I couldn't help but feel I had struck a nerve.   
"What's with you..is smiling such a huge sin to you? It's normal Hiead! So are other emotions like, laughing and crying and fear, but you let on as if you don't know what those things are when in reality I think you know them all too well! I thought before today that if I ever saw you smile, the world would end. But I did! And you know what?! I liked seeing that side of you. I'm sure it was something no one else saw!"   
  
I could feel my face growing hot and he backed away even further as I continued, "And I thought to myself 'Just what in the world could someone as cold as him be thinking to make him smile' and if it's true that you are anything at all like me..then..then.."   
  
I let my face drop dejectedly to the floor, "Then I probably already know what you were thinking..then I probably already know everything about you."   
  
For a moment I could have sworn I saw a slight hint of fear in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced with anger as he tightened his fists by his side.   
  
"You are right Hiead..there is nothing you can possibly tell me, that I don't already know."   
  
"Leave..just go! You sicken me with your gibberish and I can't stand to look at your face any longer. If you don't want to break out into a fight right here and now, I suggest you just go!" he murmured, his voice straining not to yell.   
  
I smiled, "I knew you would say something like that."   
  
With that last comment I turned and headed out of the room. I could feel his burning gaze on me as I walked out, but I didn't dare run, at least not until I got out into the hallway. From there I bolted as quickly as I could to my room and once inside I threw myself onto my bed. My body was trembling from the aftermath of that encounter. I couldn't believe I had kept my cool, even after he had pushed me up against that wall and everything. I had lied to him, I was still clueless as to what he may have been thinking. I still don't know anything about him or myself and just the thought of his fiery eyes scared me; but even after having laid here on my bed for about 20 minutes or so..I found that my heart could not stop pounding. Had I really ran that much? I didn't feel winded at all. This was annoying. There was no way I was going to sleep enough now.   
  
I turned myself just in time to hear the door of my room slide open behind me. Was it Hiead? I shut my eyes quickly pretending to be asleep and let my body relax against my tense muscle's will. I heard footsteps and the shuffling of clothes. I suppose it really was him. I expected to hear him flop onto his bed any second now, but I was wrong. Instead the thud of his steps grew clearer as I realized he was walking around the beds towards me.   
  
The sound stopped suddenly and I could only imagine that he was standing near me. I was slightly wrong again, he was standing right in front of me and had crouched low enough to look at my 'sleeping' face. I knew because I could hear his breath directly in front of me. My body tensed slightly and I tried my best not to distort my face. What was he going to do? Everything grew silent and I prepared myself for a blow from his fist or anything to that extent. I was surprised again as I felt my bangs being pushed gently aside.   
  
"You don't know anything about me.." he whispered. "You don't know.. just how much I.."   
  
Something brushed softly against my lips. Was it his finger? Was it his mouth? It was bitterly left to my imagination and I could not stand the suspense any longer. I let my eye crack open, just the slightest, so that my lashes were concealing the whites of my eye and I barely saw him, he was smiling.   
  
"Just how much I hate you.." he finished.   
  
Satisfied he stood up again and this time slid into his bed. I couldn't move, my lips were numb where he had touched them and my heart was racing. But even in my state of shock I couldn't help but wonder if earlier, when I saw him in the observatory, he smiled because he was thinking of me? And my heart..was it racing, because of him? or was it just feeling what he was feeling? More importantly..did I feel the same way? I was so confused, but the confusion finally made me sleepy. I smiled at my last thought before drifting off to sleep, "Yes Hiead..I hate you too."  
  
~ Owari 


End file.
